Andy's Story

Hiya everyone, my name is Andy. I’m 20 and cared for both of my parents & have done since I was 6. My mum has suffered from numerous mental and physical illnesses for as long as I can remember and my dad has problems with his heart.

I want to start by taking you back to Year 9 (so about 6 years ago now – that make me feel old!) – And I’ll be honest – I hated school! Some of the teachers didn’t seem to understand what being a young carer was like, I was being bullied for being different and I just wanted to stay at home in case anything happened with my mum & dad’s health. My attendance was bad and even though the local authorities said they understood – there was a risk at one point of my parents getting in trouble because of my attendance. No-one really seemed to truly understand what I was going through. I found things tough, sometimes very tough. I’ll admit I sometimes wondered ‘Why me?’ – Not because I am not happy to help my parents out, just because it was so difficult (being a teenager is hard enough!)

But then at the start of Year 10, I joined a Young Carer’s Support Group and that was when things started to get easier – I met other people who had similar experiences to me, I could talk about my feelings, and more importantly – there was a place where I could be myself and have fun! Whether it be watching a film, failing to ice skate or going to the Young Carers Festival (which I still go to as a volunteer every year and plan on continuing to do for a long time to come!)

So things started to get easier in that sense, but I still didn’t have a clue what I really wanted to do after college – I did my A Levels as well as my football coaching, but for a while I wasn’t planning on going to University – mainly because I didn’t want to leave my friends in my young carers group – it was a place where I felt secure and at home, I also didn’t want to leave my drama group which I was a regular member of, and I must admit it just didn’t seem like the ‘done’ thing – none of my friends went to University, neither of my parents did, no-one in my street – so surely it’s not something I should think about is it?

So the question is where am I now? Well I still find this hard to believe, but I’m actually coming to the end of my 2nd year of studying Law at Cambridge University. I know it seems a million miles away from not going to University at all, but my tutors at college were really supportive to me, as were my parents.

I’ve found that University is an amazing experience – you meet friends for life, do things you never thought you would do and learn a lot about yourself!

Yes, there are occasionally times where things go wrong at home and I can’t help as much when I’m down here in Cambridge, but what I have found is that the world hasn’t fallen apart without me at home and they have been much less than I thought would be the case – my parents are getting help from friends and are coping – and obviously I help out when I’m back at home (and not earning money as a manager in McDonalds!).

College and University are so much more different to School – you study the subjects you want to study and the atmosphere is much different. I didn’t really enjoy school at all, but loved college and am loving being at Uni!

I was asked if I wanted to send a message out to all the young carers on the site – and so basically what I want to say is that whilst each and every one of you will have different ideas as to what you want to do in life in terms of education or your careers, I want you to remember that being a young carer is something which provides you with invaluable skills – skills that any employer will value – the ability to work under high levels of pressure, maturity, independence, initiative – the list goes on. I personally would recommend University – it’s an amazing experience and opens up many doors.

Finally – I can’t stress enough that being a young carer should not be a barrier to you being the best that you want to be – if you have the potential and the drive, then anything is possible, and who knows – some of you could be the next me writing on here in a few years time as students at a top University, or as a high-flyer in the world of work.

Remember – you all do a fantastic job, and even when the going gets tough, a better day is always around the corner – even if that corner doesn’t always seem to be in sight - see you at YCF!