Hazel's Story

My name is Hazel, I am 25 years old. I used to care for my mum but I did not realize I would have been classed as a carer.

My parents divorced when I was 7yrs old and then my mum’s brother died suddenly. This was when my mum was diagnosed with Lupus. She started drinking heavily and made friend’s with a woman who had 5 children, and also was an alcoholic. I had to clean and tidy the house, do all the shopping and pay the bills. I helped my mum when she was very drunk and could not look after herself.

I missed a lot of school because of this. Her new friend introduced her to this guy , I thought he was trouble. One day I came home from school and no one was home, all the furniture in the house was gone except in my room everything was still there. I stayed with my neighbor for a week. Eventually my mum returned telling me what a fantastic time she had on her holiday with her new fella. I was only 8yrs old when that happened.

My mum’s drinking came in phases until I was 10yrs old and a lot of the same behaviour was happening. I did not have much contact with my Dad as at the time I did not know this but my mum was making it very difficult for my dad to see me.

At age 11 my mum re-married, my step-dad was an alcoholic and once they were married he became emotionally and physically abusive towards me. He never hurt my mum physically.

My mum became so depressed as her husband was so mentally abusive, she would always want to leave him I would be there to support her but she always went back to him.

Eventually it go so bad for me that I could no longer help my mum, I had to leave her with him never knowing if she would really be ok. I was privately fostered for 2yrs it felt great to be part of a family but unfortunately my fostered parents divorced. So I left and got a place of my own when I was 15yrs old, I went to school 3 days a week and worked the rest as I was not entitled to much money from the government as I was too young. I struggled to stay at college. I had to leave to support myself.

I am now 25 and in my first year at university, I love it. My mum has been diagnosed with serious mental health issues but she has stopped drinking. I rarely see her as I moved along way to come to university.

I think that if I had known that I could have got help when I was 7 and my mother became ill and started drinking , I would not have been so effected both emotionally and educationally.