Worried about the future
The future can be very uncertain when there is illness or disability in the family. Some conditions get worse over time, while others change with time so it can be difficult to predict from one day to the next what help the person being cared for will need. This makes forward planning very difficult and it also makes it hard for other people to understand why you can sometimes do something and at other times not. You may be concerned that your children will not feel free to lead their own lives and go off to college or move away to find work if the family relies on the care they provide. If they do go away, you may be worried about how you will cope and who will provide the care in future. You may also be worried about what will happen to your children if you have to go into hospital or are no longer around for them.
Concerned about parenting issues?
If you are the person who is being cared for, you may not always feel well enough to ‘be the parent’ and you may sometimes find that the roles are reversed with your child taking the responsibility for caring. The boundaries between being a child and being an adult can become blurred and then it can be difficult to fulfil the traditional parenting role. It can be a real challenge having your child get lunch for you one minute and then telling them off the next minute for not having done their homework, or fighting with siblings or breaking rules.
Alternatively, if you are caring for a child, you may feel at times that you do not have enough energy left over for parenting any siblings.
Finding it hard to talk
Knowing how much to tell your children about family circumstances or the condition of the person who is cared for is difficult. However, it is often better to talk to your child rather than leaving them in the dark, as they may imagine things to be much worse than they really are. You could start by asking them if there is anything they want to know. If you can be open and discuss things at a level appropriate to your child’s age you can also provide reassurance if necessary and help them to get any fears out in the open.
Worried about your child’s schooling?
Being a young carer can affect a young person’s education as:
Do talk to your child’s school. In the past schools were often unaware of the issues faced by young carers. Now schools are becoming increasingly aware of the barriers to learning that young carers face. Schools, in partnership with other agencies, should be ensuring that barriers to learning faced by young carers are as far as possible removed. Indeed, many schools are implementing policies for young carers and their families and now designate a member of staff to coordinate support for pupils who are young carers. Perhaps you might like to highlight ‘Supporting young carers: A resource for schools’ to your child’s school. This resource will support schools to understand the issues faced by young carers and help schools to support them.
The future can be very uncertain when there is illness or disability in the family. Some conditions get worse over time, while others change with time so it can be difficult to predict from one day to the next what help the person being cared for will need. This makes forward planning very difficult and it also makes it hard for other people to understand why you can sometimes do something and at other times not. You may be concerned that your children will not feel free to lead their own lives and go off to college or move away to find work if the family relies on the care they provide. If they do go away, you may be worried about how you will cope and who will provide the care in future. You may also be worried about what will happen to your children if you have to go into hospital or are no longer around for them.
Concerned about parenting issues?
If you are the person who is being cared for, you may not always feel well enough to ‘be the parent’ and you may sometimes find that the roles are reversed with your child taking the responsibility for caring. The boundaries between being a child and being an adult can become blurred and then it can be difficult to fulfil the traditional parenting role. It can be a real challenge having your child get lunch for you one minute and then telling them off the next minute for not having done their homework, or fighting with siblings or breaking rules.
Alternatively, if you are caring for a child, you may feel at times that you do not have enough energy left over for parenting any siblings.
Finding it hard to talk
Knowing how much to tell your children about family circumstances or the condition of the person who is cared for is difficult. However, it is often better to talk to your child rather than leaving them in the dark, as they may imagine things to be much worse than they really are. You could start by asking them if there is anything they want to know. If you can be open and discuss things at a level appropriate to your child’s age you can also provide reassurance if necessary and help them to get any fears out in the open.
Worried about your child’s schooling?
Being a young carer can affect a young person’s education as:
- they may feel they have to take time off school.
- they may feel tired, stressed or worried about what is happening at home .
- they may find it difficult to complete work at home or meet homework deadlines, fall behind and not want to face their teachers.
- they may not be able to stay to after school activities.
- they may not want to face their friends who may ask questions, or they may be bullied because they are “different”.
- parents may not be able to attend parents evenings and may not always be able to provide support with their child’s education.
Sometimes with the best will in the world schooling gets interrupted because of the family situation or the child’s reaction to it.
Do talk to your child’s school. In the past schools were often unaware of the issues faced by young carers. Now schools are becoming increasingly aware of the barriers to learning that young carers face. Schools, in partnership with other agencies, should be ensuring that barriers to learning faced by young carers are as far as possible removed. Indeed, many schools are implementing policies for young carers and their families and now designate a member of staff to coordinate support for pupils who are young carers. Perhaps you might like to highlight ‘Supporting young carers: A resource for schools’ to your child’s school. This resource will support schools to understand the issues faced by young carers and help schools to support them.
