Well, hi! I'm not sure how to start this, because the closest I've come to blogging is writing random things on MySpace, but I guess that counts. Everyone has to start somewhere, and this is much better than where I started! Maybe a suitable way to start would be with a quick intro.

 So, I'm Maddi! I'm 14, and I come from North Wales. I care for my Dad, who has Bipolar Disorder, Fibromylagia and Borderline Personality. I don't do much caring for him - my Mum is his primary carer - but I suppose I care for him by caring for my Mum when my Dad goes into the local Support Bed Unit, and caring for my brother and sister when my Mum is busy caring for my Dad. It all sounds complicated, but it isn't really. I just help out and try my hardest wherever possible.

 The hard part isn't caring for my Dad, it's caring for my Mum! She's got Depression, but it doesn't show very much (or maybe I just can't remember anything different, like with my Dad). I'm used more as an emotional sounding board for when Dad goes away and she's got no-one to let her feelings out to. I also look after my little brother and sister more when Dad goes away, because Mum's hands are tied doing the work of two parents (neither of my parents can actually go out to work, because Dad's too ill and Mum is his full-time carer), helping out on the support site that they run for adults touched by Bipolar, be they family members or the actual people themselves.

Well, life can be really stressful, like when I'm really aware that I'm a young carer, but sometimes it's nice to just forget all of that and chill out on my own or with friends. I've got some really great friends at school who understand what I'm going through, and I feel that I can tell them what's going on, and they know that if anything's going on in their lives they can talk to me. I think we're all close friends because we've been through so much. My one friend's Mum tried to kill her, and the other has a Dad who is Schizophrenic and abused her mum. We can all talk about what's going on - like my one friend saying how she doesn't miss her Dad now that he's in jail, which she probably wouldn't be able to say to her Mum or someone - and I can tell them how I get angry at my Dad when he can't do the things I want him to be able to do, like come out for walks with us or go out places with us in the holidays.

I like being with my friends, because when we aren't in need of a shoulder to cry on we have the best fun ever. We all love laughing and the same music and TV shows as each other, so we never run out of things to talk about. There are differences, though, too, like religion - I'm a Spiritualist with some Wiccan views on life, and one friend is an Atheist and the other is a Christian. I think having differences makes life more interesting, because you aren't always agreeing with each other on things and there's stuff to debate about as well as agree about.

For some people, their life revolves around caring 24/7, and it shouldn't have to. Mine doesn't, I'm lucky enough that I can have things taken off my hands. I can go out with friends, I go to speak to a counsellor every so often who just chats to me about things at home and other things like school and holidays and things to look forwards to, I can go to my Youth Theatre every Saturday and take part in productions. I can do lots of things that I wouldn't even be able to do if I wasn't a young carer - I've had to grow up very fast, and I think that I'm a lot more mature because of it - and I know things that I wouldn't know if I wasn't a young carer. When faced with situations like exams that are stressing me out, I can just sit there and think, "Hey, if I can get through all of this stuff that I've had to deal with about my Dad, and if I've beaten those bullies who tried to ruin my life completely, I can do this with my eyes closed". Not many people can do that!

 I've got a lot to be angry at mental illness for, but I've got a lot to thank it for too. My Mum and Dad are always there when I get home from school. They're never out at work having to do night shifts or anything. We can go on holiday without worrying about getting time of work. Not many people can do that, either!

The next blog will hopefully be a bit more cheerful, so don't worry! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy my new blog! Just to say that I'm really honoured and grateful to be given the chance, because I love writing and it offers me the chance to just inflict misery on someone else's life without actually hurting anyone because the characters are fictional! Of course, this is real life, but writing is an escape anyway. You become so deep in concentration, trying to get the words out right, that you can temporarily feel like you're writing as someone else.

Anyway, thank you, and speak to you all soon!

Maddi xxx